


A Doki Doki Christmas

by Star_Jelly



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Party, Christmas Special, Depression, Fluff and Angst, Other, References to Depression, Secret Santa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:35:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27947663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Star_Jelly/pseuds/Star_Jelly
Summary: The members of the literature club host a Christmas party the day before winter break, and when Sayori finds herself unable to be happy, even in the midst of the holidays, her friends remind her that it’s not that simple
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	A Doki Doki Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> So funny story, I’ve had this fic in the works since last year. I had it all typed out and ready to go, but I ended up leaving the draft for too long and it got deleted and I just never tried again lol   
> Anyway idk if this’ll get much attention, and if I’m being honest, I’m ok if it doesn’t. I just really wanted to write smth where the Doki Doki girls are a little happier than they were in the game

Sayori awoke, cracking open an eye before pulling the fluffy duvet over her head and curling into a tight ball.   
She silently begged for any excuse to not leave the house today. Maybe if she got lucky, school would be canceled?  
After her alarm went off a second time, she groaned before rolling over and wrapping the duvet around her shoulders. After checking her phone and confirming that no, unfortunately school hadn’t been canceled, she pulled herself out of bed and let the duvet fall to the floor.  
Why did it have to be today? She wasn’t her best right now, and she was so ashamed of it. She really didn’t want anyone to see her like this, especially not so close to the holidays. No school, gifts and a cozy holiday atmosphere? Who wouldn’t be happy? But as hard as she was trying, she just couldn’t muster up any good feelings. Negativity hung over her like a storm cloud, and no matter what she did or how long she waited, it wouldn’t go away.  
After changing into her uniform and grabbing her bag, she trudged down the stairs before stopping in her tracks just outside the kitchen; our of habit, she was ready to skip breakfast and just leave for school, but she couldn’t bring herself to. She could hear Yuri’s voice in the back of her head; “Even if you can’t bring yourself to eat much, a little is better than nothing.” She sighed before grabbing a granola bar off the counter and heading towards the front door.  
After bundling up to face the cold, she slowly stepped outside, adjusting her scarf around her mouth and quickly sticking her gloved hands in her pockets in an attempt to fight the brutal chill.   
It had snowed more than usual, Sayori couldn’t remember the last time it snowed this much. As much as she hated the cold, she couldn’t deny that it was a little nice; the white snow on the ground untouched, everything silent, long spindly branches outstretched towards the sky—hold on, that would actually make a really good poem. She would have to try and remember it so she could write it down later.  
As she neared the school and she began to see more of her classmates on their morning commute, the storm cloud began to flood her mind again. She silently told herself that she just had to get through today, she just had to keep a straight face for a little longer and then no one would have to see her like this anymore.   
She stepped up to the school, trying to hold her head up high. Just one more day.

Her mood had only worsened as the day went on; every class she went to other students were happily exchanging gifts and discussing what they were doing over winter break, which felt like the world further driving home the point that the holidays made Sayori miserable.   
What was wrong with her? The holidays were supposed to be the happiest time of the year, so why wasn’t she happy? This had to mean she was ungrateful, who else would feel this way right now?  
As the final bell rang, she grabbed her bag and made her way down the hall. One more thing to do before she could go home and let it out, before she wouldn’t have to worry about people seeing her this way. And who knew? Maybe seeing and hanging out with her friends would help her feel a little better?

Sayori opened the door to the club room to find it very festively decorated; gold and white tinsel was strung around the room, a wreath was hung on the closet door, and a small tree sat on a desk in the corner surrounded by small boxes.  
She immediately spotted her friends when she came in; Natsuki was drawing a snowman on the classroom blackboard, and Yuri was sitting at a desk with a pair of scissors and a stack of paper, cutting snowflakes to hang on the walls. But where was—  
“Ah! Sayori!”   
Sayori spun around to see Monika standing just behind her, a bright smile on her face.   
“So glad to see you here! Merry Christmas!” She said, before giving her a tight hug.  
After she pulled away, Sayori noticed she had changed out of her uniform and into an emerald green Christmas sweater with a reindeer knitted on it  
“Merry Christmas, Monika! I like your sweater.”   
“Thank you! Speaking of which..” Monika reached into her bag and pulled out a red sweater with strings of Christmas lights embroidered onto it. “I’ve made one for everybody!”   
So she had; Yuri was sporting a white sweater with a forest of trees knitted on it and Natsuki paused what she was doing to display her pink sweater decorated with snowflakes.   
“It’s my gift to you all since I won’t be able to stay for the secret Santa.”  
“Aw, are you sure?” Sayori asked, pouting slightly. “It won’t be the same without everyone here.”  
“I’m sorry, but there’s really nothing I can do about it. I have to be home at 4:00 on the dot so my parents and I can catch our flight. We won’t be able to catch another one if we miss this one because they’re all booked.”  
“Oh, ok. It’s alright.” Sayori responded, somewhat weakly. She hoped Monika would have fun with her family. Maybe she’d be more grateful than her, at least she seemed cheerful about the holidays.  
“But I figured to make up for it, I’d give you all a big present like this!”   
“Thank you, Monika, it’s very nice.” Yuri said shyly from her seat at the table.  
“It’s pretty cute.” Natsuki said, giving a small smile.  
“Well, I better get going.” Monika grabbed her bag and headed towards the door. “I hope you all have a lot of fun! Merry Christmas!”  
Each of the three girls gave their goodbyes as Monika left.   
“Well,” Yuri began timidly. “I guess we should get the party started.”  
“Then get over here and help me!” Natsuki piped up from across the room. “Decorating the tree by myself is no fun!”  
Sayori’s train of thought broke and she hurried over to Natsuki, plastering the biggest smile she could on her face.

The group had just finished the tree when Sayori couldn’t take it anymore.   
“Hey guys?” She piped up softly. “I’ll be right back.”   
She quickly stepped into the hall, and after rounding a nearby corner, she burst into tears.   
She hated herself, damn it, she hated herself. Today wasn’t even that bad of a day when you looked at it; most of the day was pretty easy in terms of school because it was so close to break, it had snowed today, one of her friends had given her a cute homemade sweater, and she was spending the rest of the day with her two other friends having a Christmas party. Why should she not be happy? Why couldn’t she be happy?  
She felt so horrible, so ungrateful. Maybe that’s why all this was happening: the world was trying to punish her for being this way. And she couldn’t help but feel like she deserved it.   
“Sayori?” She looked up to see Natsuki standing just outside the doorway, Yuri right behind her.   
“O-Oh, hey guys!” Sayori said, quickly trying to wipe her tears away and plastering a large smile onto her face.   
“Um, Yuri?” Natsuki said before quickly walking towards Sayori and sitting on the floor beside her.  
“I’m sorry, I know it’s probably embarrassing, but Yuri knows more about this stuff than I do, and I don’t wanna make it worse.  
Sayori nodded before another tear rolled down her face. Natsuki pulled her sweater sleeve over her hand and gently wiped it away.  
“I’m sorry,” Sayori murmured. “I’m being so selfish, I know I am.”  
“You’re not being selfish.”   
Yuri had appeared just behind Natsuki and sat down with the rest of the girls.  
“Do you want to talk about it?”  
“It’s nothing.” Sayori said, shaking her head.  
“Sayori, I understand if you don’t want to talk, you don’t have to if you don’t want to, but I want you to know that you’re allowed to if you need. You often don’t tell us what’s going on because you’re worried you’re burdening us, but I promise you that’s not the case. And you said you’ve been wanting to be more open with us right? Expressing your true feelings is a big part of that. Even if we’re not sure how to help you, we’d at least like to know.”   
Natsuki quickly nodded, backing Yuri up.  
Sayori paused, before letting out a heavy sigh and beginning. “I’m having trouble feeling happy. I know that’s nothing new really, but it’s so close to the holidays and I feel like I should be happy. I have every reason to feel happy, but I just can’t. And it makes me feel guilty, like I’m being ungrateful. I’m trying as hard as I can, but...”   
Sayori’s voice broke and tears began to roll down her cheeks.   
“I just can’t shake it, and I feel horrible for it.”  
Yuri paused before answering; she wanted to make sure that Sayori was done so she didn’t accidentally interrupt her.  
“I know it can be frustrating, but remember that it’s unpractical to expect yourself to magically feel better at any given point in your life. Depression just doesn’t work that way. And even so, no matter what time of year, when you feel bad and through all the times when things are difficult, we’ll be here for you.”   
“Yeah, that’s what friends are for!” Natsuki piped up. “You really think we’d leave you because of something you can’t control?”  
Sayori nodded, wiping her eyes again.  
“You can always talk to us if you need,” Yuri continued. “You message us or call us. Even if it’s the holidays, you shouldn’t have to feel alone.”  
“And we wanna do what we can to help you.” Natsuki chimed in. “Even if we’re still learning about depression and how to help it, and we probably have a lot we still need to learn, we’re still gonna help you in any way we can. We’re here for you. Always.”  
Sayori collapsed into her friends arms, sobbing. Yuri and Natsuki wrapped their arms around her tightly. After a few minutes, Sayori mumbled “thanks” between her sobs.   
Yuri pulled away and grabbed Sayori’s hand. “Are you ready to go back in? Maybe after the party, we can see about spending the night with you?”  
“I can stop by my place and grab some movies and supplies for hot chocolate!” Natsuki added.  
Sayori gave a faint smile. “I think I’d like that a lot.”  
Natsuki helped her up and the three started walking towards the classroom.   
“Thank you, you guys.” Sayori murmured. “Thank you.”


End file.
